Your Agency Charges
£10,000/month.
Ralph Does More
in 67 Seconds.
Ralph connects to your store, ads, GSC, and 21 data sources — then builds real campaigns, writes real copy, publishes to Shopify, monitors performance, and auto-reverts what doesn't work. While you sleep.
Say "Campaign These Products."
Watch Ralph Do Everything.
A full campaign — pricing strategy, AI imagery, copy, emails, blog, SEO metadata, Shopify collection, scheduling — in less time than it takes your agency to reply to a Slack message.
Ralph Knows Your Store
Better Than You Do.
Every morning, Ralph analyses overnight performance, flags problems before you notice them, and tells you exactly what to do — in your own voice, via ElevenLabs TTS.
Ralph Groups Your Products
Into Revenue Clusters.
12-dimensional product intelligence. Lifecycle stage, elasticity, cannibalization, entry/upsell paths, repeat rate, LTV impact, geo demand, return risk — scored and grouped automatically.
147 Jobs Run Every Night.
Zero Human Input Required.
Four parallel BullMQ queues. Intelligence, webhooks, notifications, maintenance. Real-time worker activity visible in your dashboard at all times.
Just Say What You Want.
Ralph Does the Rest.
No dashboards to navigate. No forms to fill. Talk to Ralph like you'd talk to your best employee — except Ralph never sleeps and never needs context.
15 Tools. One Subscription.
Zero Juggling.
Your stack was expensive, fragmented, and none of it talked to each other. Ralph is everything, connected, and it takes action.
What Would You Save?
Drag the slider to your current monthly spend and see the numbers.
Your Agency vs Ralph.
The Numbers Don't Lie.
We're not anti-agency. We're just very, very fast. And significantly cheaper.
Real Numbers.
Real Ralph.
Less Than a Day of Agency Fees.
More Than They'll Do All Month.
No setup fees. No hidden costs. Cancel anytime. Founding members lock in 25% off — forever.
Stores That Fired Their Agency.
"I told Ralph to campaign our summer range on a Tuesday evening. By Wednesday morning it had written the product copy, generated the imagery, set up a 15% discount for a specific customer segment, published the collection, and scheduled a 3-email sequence. My agency would've sent a brief template at that point. I cancelled the retainer immediately."
"The morning briefing thing is eerie. It told me one of my best-selling products had a 34% return rate from a specific channel and that I should pull it from paid ads while I fix sizing. No human analyst would have caught that correlation across returns data and ad spend without being paid a lot of money."
"We run 3 Shopify stores. Ralph manages all of them. It auto-reverted a campaign on Store 2 that was underperforming while simultaneously running a successful flash sale on Store 1. No human could monitor that in parallel. This is genuinely the future."
Questions.
Be first.
Lock your price.
Fire your agency.
Ralph launches Q3 2026. The founders who get in first get 25% off at launch — permanently. Your spot is free to hold.
No card. No commitment. Just your spot in line — and 25% off when we launch.